Sweet Dreams Jose....

Yesterday I lost a mother, a friend, a confidant and a very large part of me.  After a short but vicious illness, my friend Jose left this world surrounded by family and long time friends.  For those that have followed this blog, I wish I could say more.  Truth be told, I could never wrap my head around her illness.  I wanted to believe that if she could just get up, that she would get better.

I would insist on her trying harder and pushing through.  Not until she was bedridden, unable to talk, move or much of anything else, did I accept the fact that she was ill.  Even then, while I said that she was dying, I never really accepted it.  When I heard of her passing yesterday I was numb.  To be fair, I'm pretty sure that I still am.

I find it appropriate that she left this world on Cinco De Mayo...  She loved her margaritas and the small group of women that would meet about once a month to socialize, laugh and personally give me strength (the Posse) met to drink to her passing, laugh about our lives and start that long, painful process of building a life without our Jose.

For me, it means moving on with the knowledge that I will never see her behind me when I ride.  I will never visit the stores, eat at the restaurants, or see the silly way her cheeks would turn red when she had a drink.  I will miss my frustration that she would choose Dr. Pepper over water (even in the Mojave Desert!) and the way that we would "talk" with simply hand signals when we rode.
 
My salvation is that now, she will be with me whenever I start up Baby.  I hope and pray that she will be there urging me on saying "okay - I can ride now, get up and  go". 

I will miss you Jose, I will miss you Mrs. Shelia Douglas.  I will love you always.  I hope that now you are riding, fully geared, with the road ahead of you and the wind at your back.

- Road Runner