Wednesday, January 7, 2015

New Year - same outlook?

My life continues to change.  I begin this year with a sister diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, a cousin's wife with stage 4 cervical cancer and a friend with breast cancer (second time). 

I struggle with what to think or say.  Each woman has reacted to the news in dramatically different ways.  I wonder how I would react?  What would I do if I were told that I had a potentially life limiting illness?  Would I run away? make a new bucket list? Find a familiar spot and make it my own?  I would like to think that I would embrace life more.  Savor each moment just a little bit longer and try to remove all bitterness and negativity in my life.

That got me to thinking-why wait?  Why should I wait for something catastrophic to happen to allow me to change my outlook?  Why not savor those things now?  Why not stop looking for landmines and notice the flowers in the fields?  Why lament over the things that I don't have and rejoice in the gifts that I have been given?  I don't mean to ignore the landmines, but why assume that every field has them?

I don't mean to say that I want to spend my entire life with my head in the clouds and think that it is full of fairies and bubbles.  What I mean is that rather than worry about those things that I cannot change and focus more on the gifts in front of me. 

This year marks the 10th anniversary of me starting to ride a bike.  Baby sits in the garage, partly due to weather and partly due to the lack of desire to be on her.  I still don't know where and if she will take me, but I do know one thing - this year is going to be a very different year.  I can feel it in my soul.

I hope all that read this blog have a new beginning.  More postings to follow - ideally with much more hope!


RoadRunner