A year.....

Today is your birthday Jose..  May 5th marks the one year anniversary since you died.  Baby sits pretty much quiet in the garage with a battery tender attached to her.  She is rarely ridden.  The truth is - there is no spark.  No fire, in fact, little of anything that makes me inspired.  Other than my amazing children - and then it is just from a vicarious position.

I'm not sure how many follow this blog.  I've never been inspiring nor important.  So now, I'm just an older woman posting my musings on a medium that the world can see.  Will they care?  Who knows....

I know one thing - I yearn to be.  What that means "to be" is unknown.  But I do feel like I am in the midst of an awaking.

Do I sell the bike and move on?  Do I continue to ride?  Do I take up pottery, or drawing, or jewelry making or what???

Lately, I feel a restlessness that I felt when I first got the bike.  I hear a whisper that I can barely hear and can't identify it's origin.  It is a voice that does not come from the wind, but rumbles from my soul.  I can feel in in my chest more than in my ear.  Muddled by the sounds of life, I can still hear the voice - but the words remain insanely elusive...

There is a part of me that thinks that if I could just hear (or feel) the words - that would then know where my life should be.  I would know what direction I should head.  I would know what would inspire me, push me, make me alive.

If anyone still follows this - advice would be welcome.  Tell me your dreams and more importantly, tell me the what you have heard if you have finally been able to hear the word that rumble from your soul.



Sheilah (or RoadRunner wannabe...)